An incredible amount of self-knowledge is required to achieve any significant endeavor in life. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, how far you can push yourself and when to stop are very important factors when deciding on how to go about conquering a particular goal.

The same rings true for studying Mandarin.

When I first came to Beijing to study this language 6 months ago, I was determined to give my all to it. And knew I would too. I not only gave 100%. I gave 110%. And this is why I managed to keep up with the fastest Elementary 1 class, got good grades at the end of the semester and can now count myself as fluent enough to handle myself in front of cab drivers, waiters and even the dumpling guy across my apartment block. 

This semester though, I know I will not be able to give the same kind of focus to studying anymore. As my Adium status has been broadcasting for the last 2 weeks now, “－边学习， 一边工作” (“studying and working at the same time”). After school lets out at noon everyday, I divide my “alone time” between doing homework, studying, doing LtL work and freelance writing projects. 

Yup, it sounds like a lot, especially if you tend to get distracted, undisciplined and scattered like I do.

These are things I have come to know and accept about myself over the years, and even more so when I decided to “sink or swim” all alone out here in China. I have an incredible capacity to focus and be the most hard-working person on the planet. Unfortunately, I can’t sustain it. 

I’ve often described myself as a “sprinter” more than a “marathoner.” I work with laser-like focus and can take long hours of hard work and even all-nighters if I have to. But only because I know they will be short-lived. When I know there is an end. When I know I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Others are more the “marathon” types and live lives of 18-hour days on 3-4 year contracts. Day-in and day-out, the same hard, bone-grinding work met with passion and dedication. And they keep at it till the work is done.

I have always admired such people. And I know I can be that type, but like I said, only for short-periods. That’s why Advertising work suited me for a long time. Making a 30-second commercial will give you sleepless nights for 2 weeks or so. That’s it.  Starting a business or building the world’s first green building will be a headache for much, much longer. 

I say this now because last week, me and my classmates were tormented with the crucial decision of whether to stay in the original level classes our placement exams had put us in. All of us found our classes slow and our classmates, the slowest of the pack. Or, do we dare move up to Intermediate level, where the content was far more advanced, the teachers were faster and the workload heavier. 

After two days of excruciating indecision, while watching friends who had been in the same level as me just two months ago jump straight-away to Intermediate Level 1 and 2, I decided to stay back in my “less demanding” Elementary 3 class. Simply because of the realities that faced me today.

Unlike 6 months ago, I was no longer just a student. I was working now, with at least one school night a week committed to going to “networking events”and  staying out late.

I no longer just studied at home. I now worked from home too: writing, replying, following up on and sending out emails, researching and writing. 

And sometimes, I had to make time for the occasional “meeting” with potential students and clients during the week, which usually meant a long commute to the CBD area, 45 minutes away by train from Wudaokou… each way.

These plus the fact that I knew I would tend to lose steam somewhere midpoint and will need to take a breather convinced me not to “overburden” myself with the many “duties” I want to take on.

This is why knowing oneself is crucial. Knowing where and when I was good, and where and when I was not, helped me strike a healthy balance between studying, working and the no-less important factor also of looking after myself. I still make it a point to take time out to watch movies online or treat myself to dinner and drinks in town with friends. These would not be feasible if my nose had to be buried in books all day looking up Chinese words that were being used to explain other Chinese words for reading class.

And if majority of my time had to be spent this way, where in the world would I find the time to go out there and actually speak Chinese?

So I know I made the right choice. And it’s not like we’re not moving forward at all. None of my books have the text in pinyin anymore. We’re still learning new words everyday. And even if classes seem to be slow at the moment, I rather appreciate the review in basic grammar that we are doing. As my former Ultimate team captain, Martin, taught us – strong fundamentals is key to being a strong player.  Something like, “know the rules before you break them” kind of thing. If you can master the basic rules and lessons, you’d be better equipped to handle the advanced stuff and maybe even dance rings around them with your eyes closed.   

Besides, my class now has a “pre-intermediate” classification. We’re halfway there!