After spending days, no, weeks, feeling lazy and procrastinating on some of the simplest tasks I needed to get done, today I suddenly found myself ticking things off my mental to-do list as I finished one thing after another.
Old emails were finally read and replied to. New ones were written and sent. I even dug out some old jpegs of past compres I’ve done stashed away in some forgotten directory on my hard drive. They’ve now been added to my growing portfolio of works.
It feels good. After weeks of fretting and worrying about the future, of being overwhelmed at the seemingly monumental task of starting a new life in a new country in search of my dreams, I grabbed my indecision by the balls and dove right into the mounting pile of work.
The two phone calls I got earlier in the day were instrumental in forcing my I’m-still-on-vacation-ass out of bed. The first was an unexpected, yet timely long-distance phone call from my father. The second was a loud, high-speed conversation in Mandarin I had with a guy who was supposed to deliver my new calling cards to the house today. The cards didn’t make it. But I did. I made it through the conversation and somehow managed to make arrangements to do the handover tomorrow downtown instead.
And I even found time to meditate and clear my head about a personal issue that has been haunting me for a while now. Whereas before I would plead with the Universe to ‘take away the love’ that I still felt for this person, I now find myself calmly asking for my love to grow so that I may finally be the kind of friend that will truly be good for him… whatever that means.
Friends. Until recently, this was completely unimaginable. Now, I’m just relieved that I can finally feel good about it.
Miracles are born out of love. But I think what people don’t realize is that this love is not really about the love we have for someone else, or the love they have for us. Sure, others may trigger it. But ultimately, it’s about the love we have for ourselves: how strongly we believe in our dreams and how much faith we have in our abilities to make them real.
If we truly love ourselves, we owe it to ourselves to stop punishing our souls for past mistakes by clinging to bitterness, resentment and regret. We owe it to ourselves to heed the desires of our hearts and dare to to do what’s needed to make them come true – no matter how mundane or little it seems, such as polishing up a resume, or starting a new blog that hopes to inspire others to continue living joyfully, courageously… miraculously.
“Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense, everything that comes from love is a miracle.” – Marianne Williamson
Ting Claravall Works 